KENYA: #NEVERMISSAMOMENT Kenyans' Most Embarrassing Online Secrets

I know all your embarrassing online secrets. But don’t worry I won’t tell because let’s face it we are all guilty of one or two embarrassing things we did to get some likes, followers or ‘dabo taps’.

Whether we admit it or not many of us want to be social media ‘big wigs’. There’s nothing more satisfying than living double lives and living them well.

It’s like being Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne. By day an ordinary (let’s face it boring) accountant and by night the leader of the infamous ‘Team Mafisi’ squad.

So what are the most embarrassing secrets Kenyans have online?

Profile stalking is probably the most common thing we all have online. It’s like an urge that takes over, you just went to check how many likes that photo you and your BFF Brenda took got and before you know it you’re 10 photos in and you see her with your crush Mike on the same photo (OMG! How could she do that, she knows I’ve been crushing on him since high school, nkt!). Sorry!

Or you could be like Peter, crushing on Femi One from a far hoping and waiting for the opportune moment to make sure she knows who you are. But before then, you’re satisfied by just checking out her photos and liking each and every one of them.

Another thing we all do is take selfies, even if you are as photogenic as a rock. There’s a reason it was the most famous word of 2014, so famous in fact they made it an official word in the dictionary.

But even though selfies are supposed to be honest, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves. As a dude I can never resist the urge of taking photos with the neighbor’s new Jaguar X type or the cool Aston Martin you saw parked in Westlands.

Or maybe you take a selfie with the hot new chick in your class and tell your friends online she’s your new catch. But what if you meet your online friends and they ask about her, just say you moved on.

Ladies are also not left behind. Yes we know what you do when you go window shopping. Going to the changing room at Mr. Price trying out all the cute outfits you can find and posting selfies online and at the end of it all you only buy the stockings that cost like 200 bob.

Or maybe your thing is going online on work days around lunch time to search for a photo of that exotic ‘Filetto di Salmone Gigliato alle Erbe Fini’ (I kid you not that is a real dish) at that expensive Italian Restaurant your girlfriend Vivian said her rich boyfriend took her to, just so you can show Vivian you went there too. All the while you went to Mama Oliech’s.

Where am I getting with this? Well we all have different online personas because it can be very therapeutic and it even acts as your get away because you work too hard. And so Safaricom is helping you by letting your dreams live on with their new data bundle roll-over feature.

Imagine you bought your usual data bundle, you got home after a long day at school and so as usual you go on Instagram to of course check on what your crush has been up to.

Now it’s 11PM, the perfect time to go on your favorite Whatsapp group to get your chat on. You dial *544# to check how much data you have left and it’s just not enough.

But never worry on the Safaricom network you can ‘Never Miss a Moment’. With the new data bundle roll over feature, you can simply buy a new bundle before the expiry date and all the unused bundles will be carried forward.